Hineni Reflections
Reflections 6
Some Rough Stones Are Needed to Make the Cloth Whiter
Sometimes we look at certain situations in our lives and quietly ask:
“Lord, why is this happening to me?”
It may be a difficult relationship. A difficult person. A demanding workplace. A weakness that we have prayed about repeatedly. A circumstance that seems to disturb our peace again and again.
We pray for God to remove it. We ask Him to change the situation. We ask Him to change the people around us. And sometimes we wonder why God seems silent.
But what if, in some of these situations, God is doing something deeper in us?
The Story of the Washing Stone
Recently, I heard an incident shared by my pastor that deeply touched me.
He spoke about a man of God who was faithfully serving the Lord. He travelled from place to place, shared the Gospel, distributed tracts, brought people to Christ, and devoted himself wholeheartedly to ministry.
But his family life was difficult. His wife did not share the same heart for ministry, and there were many difficulties within their home. The situation became so burdensome that this man decided to go away to a lonely place and pray until he received an answer from God.
On his way, he met an elderly woman who was washing clothes.
He told her that he was going somewhere to pray about a very difficult matter and that he would return only after receiving an answer from God.
After some time, he came back with a joyful face.
The woman asked him: “Did God answer your prayer? Did your wife change?”
He replied: “No. She hasn’t changed.”
But something else had changed. God had changed his understanding of the situation.
He explained that, in earlier times, people used rough stones when washing clothes. The stone was not soft. Its rough surface was actually part of the process that helped clean the cloth and make it whiter.
Then he understood something: Perhaps this difficult situation was not merely something to escape from. Perhaps God could use it as an instrument to make his own life more like Christ.
The stone was not the cloth. The stone was only an instrument in the process. And sometimes, the difficult things we encounter may become instruments through which God works on our character.
The Stone Is Uncomfortable
A washing stone is not comfortable. It is rough. The process is not gentle. The cloth has to go through friction.
But the purpose is not to destroy the cloth. The purpose is to make it cleaner and whiter.
Likewise, some experiences in our lives are uncomfortable. Some relationships test our patience. Some people challenge our humility. Some situations expose our anger. Some circumstances reveal our pride. Some disappointments teach us dependence. Some failures teach us surrender. Some weaknesses show us how much we need God’s grace.
And sometimes we spend so much time asking: “Lord, when will You remove this stone?” while God may be teaching us: “Let Me first show you what I am doing through it.”
Paul’s Thorn
We see something similar in the life of Paul.
Paul had what he described as a “thorn in the flesh.” He pleaded with the Lord three times that it would be removed.
But the answer he received was:
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
– 2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV)
God did not immediately remove Paul’s difficulty. Instead, God revealed His sufficient grace. The weakness became an opportunity for Paul to experience God’s strength.
That does not mean we should stop praying for difficult circumstances to change. We should pray. We should seek wisdom. We should seek justice when injustice occurs. We should establish healthy boundaries when necessary. We should never use this teaching to justify abuse, oppression, or harmful behaviour.
But while we are asking God to change the situation, we can also ask another question:
“Lord, what are You trying to change in me through this situation?”
That question can completely change our perspective.
Not Every Stone Is Sent by God
There is an important distinction here.
We should not assume that every difficult person, every painful event, or every bad circumstance was specifically sent by God. We live in a fallen world. People make wrong choices. We make wrong choices. Relationships can become complicated. Circumstances can be unfair. Sometimes suffering comes simply because of human brokenness.
But even when God is not the author of the wrong, He is powerful enough to redeem what has happened. He can take what was meant for harm and work through it for His purposes.
Joseph understood this when he told his brothers:
“You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.”
– Genesis 50:20 (ESV)
That is an extraordinary truth. God does not need every circumstance to be good in order to bring good out of it.
What Is God Forming in Me?
Perhaps that difficult person is teaching me patience.
Perhaps that challenging situation is teaching me dependence.
Perhaps that disappointment is teaching me contentment.
Perhaps that criticism is revealing something about my pride.
Perhaps that weakness is teaching me to depend on grace.
Perhaps that unanswered prayer is teaching me perseverance.
Perhaps that uncomfortable season is making me more compassionate toward people who are going through something similar.
The question changes from: “Why is this happening to me?”
to: “Lord, what are You forming in me through this?”
And perhaps that is where transformation begins.
God Is Shaping Us Into the Likeness of Christ
The ultimate goal of God’s work in our lives is not simply to make our circumstances comfortable. It is to make us more like Christ.
Romans 8:29 tells us that we are being conformed to the image of His Son. That means God is concerned not only about where we are, but about who we are becoming.
Sometimes we pray: “Lord, change my situation.” And God may answer: “I am changing you in the situation.”
Sometimes we ask: “Lord, remove this person from my life.” And God may be teaching us: “Learn to love, forgive, pray, and respond like Christ.”
Sometimes we ask: “Lord, take away this weakness.” And He reminds us: “My grace is sufficient.”
The Promise of Romans 8:28
This is why Romans 8:28 is such a precious promise:
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
– Romans 8:28 (ESV)
Notice that Scripture does not say all things are good. Some things are genuinely painful. Some experiences are genuinely unfair. Some situations genuinely hurt.
But God is able to work through all things for His good purposes. The stone may be rough. The process may be painful. The season may be difficult. But we are still in the hands of the Master. He knows what He is doing.
What If the Stone Is Part of the Story?
Maybe the difficult season you are going through today will one day become the very experience through which you encourage someone else.
Maybe the tears you are shedding today will give you compassion for someone else’s tears tomorrow.
Maybe the weakness you are ashamed of today will become the place where you learn the sufficiency of God’s grace.
Maybe the experience you wish you could erase from your story will someday become part of the testimony through which someone else finds hope.
Today’s painful process can become tomorrow’s testimony. The stone does not have the final word. The Master does.
And if we are in His hands, even the difficult things can become part of His work of shaping us.
So perhaps today, instead of asking only: “Lord, when will You remove this stone?” we can also pray:
“Lord, while I am still going through this, make me more like Christ.”
And when the process becomes too painful, may we remember:
The stone is in His hands. The process is in His hands. And our life is in His hands.
He knows what He is doing. In His time, He will make everything beautiful. And even when we cannot understand what He is doing today, we can trust the One who sees the whole picture.
Lord, sometimes I do not understand the difficult people, situations, weaknesses, and seasons You allow me to walk through. I often ask You to remove them. But today, teach me also to ask what You are forming in me through them. Give me the grace to respond like Christ, to forgive when I need to forgive, to establish wisdom and boundaries when necessary, and to trust You when I cannot understand Your ways. Take even the painful experiences of my life and use them for Your purposes. Make me more like Christ through every season. May today’s pain become tomorrow’s testimony, and may my life bring hope to someone walking through a similar valley. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Hineni.